will.i.am - T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever)

You have to wonder if back in the 60s, Mick Jagger ever had an inkling that he'd someday end up on an uber-commercialised electro-rap toss-up. Of course he didn't. But you sort of have to marvel at his leery, gurning lines that burst out over the outro of will.i.am's The Hardest Ever. If anything, for all their cringe-inducing banality, they add a bit of chutz-pah to a largely predictable track.

You see, The Hardest Ever is every contemporary dance-hip-hop blend track you've heard over the past year or so, all pile-driven into one espresso shot of buzz-saw synths and lyric spitting. Oh, and there's a bit of J Lo 'doing her thing' in there too, just for added titillation, you know...

'In the club', The Hardest Ever is the kind of track that gets the job done - but removed from any kind of alcohol-imbibing setting, it's crude chants of 'you can go hard or you can go home' just sound like a massively conflated sexual metaphor.

When will.i.am is properly on form (3 Words, OMG, I Gotta Feeling), he's brilliant - and as a popstar in general, he's profusely cool. But The Hardest Ever is none of that.