(Movie Review) Transformers - Dark of the Moon

Disappointment. That bitter taste in the mouth at experiencing something so much worse than you had hoped for. As the latest Transformers movie trundled into its closing fifteen minute, that's all I could really feel - proper head in your hands disappointment.

Dazzling special effects and an eye-watering budget, all these fell by the wayside when faced up to the facts that as much as I wanted it to be, this is simply not a good movie. In a year when we've had such brilliance as X Men: First Class, the level of big Hollywood blockbusters has been set so high that simply chucking a load of explosions and cool robots at the audience isn't enough.

Pretty much every bit of dialogue in the film is cringe-inducing, packed full of cliches and guff about 'All I ever wanted to do was save Cybertron...' - it sounds more like the stuff of kids' playground antics than the script of a big bucks sci-fi film.

The jokes are poor and feel incredibly forced, characters talk over each-other in what feels like a desperate attempt to pump some sense of emotion in, and the dialogue at its worst moments feels like a first-draft run-through rather than a finished product.

Yes, this was never going to be a stellar bit of film-making, and my expectations weren't exactly high after being equally let down by the previous two films in the series - but I didn't expect such a disappointment three times running. Dark of the Moon is by no means awful,  but I haven't watched a film that was such a chore to get through as this for a long time.

All things considered, the big female star Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is surprisingly alright, in an exceedingly hot sort of way. She pouts a lot and speaks in an incongrously posh British accent, but manages to be much better than Megan Fox ever was - though that's not exactly a hard thing to do.

Her malevolent boss, played by Patrick Dempsey, is rather good too - but aside from this, none of the cast - leading man Shia LaBeouf included - particularly stand out at all. They become merely enablers to push the movie on to the next big effects sequence. And it's here where the film falls down so far - you can't construct a film just from bangs and battles, recent flop Skyline was proof of that.

I didn't feel like I cared for any of the characters, worsened by the fact the cast was so ridiculously large and unweildy - interchangeable soldier and government types being wheeled in and out at the drop of a hat.

The only two times I felt genuinely wowed by the film was the opening introductory material - where historical footage of the Apollo 11 mission is spliced in - and the dramatic motorway battle/chase sequence. These two moments felt like the kind of movie I wanted to see, they were big, dramatic, stirring. Worth the price of the ticket? Perhaps, but any good they did for the film felt erased by having to wade through the prodigious bulk of everything else.

More an excersise in commercialism than film (there are some absolutely hilarious product placements - so brazen and in your face you'll laugh), Dark of the Moon comes as a real shame - because at its heart still lies the design classic that are the Transformers themselves. You just wish they had been put to better use.

A nice Kimberley 'Horrid Henry' movie poster to brighten up your morning...

When it comes to glamorous celebs working a lovely, cheery smile, Girls Aloud's Kimberley Walsh ranks very highly indeed. She works that beautiful, friendly girl-next-door look perfectly and it suits her well on this new poster of her as 'Prissy Polly'; the role she plays in the new Horrid Henry movie.

I'm sure most people remember the Horrid Henry books from their childhood; even if you didn't actually read them, you couldn't not see them - they were everywhere! Shops, libraries, doctor's waiting rooms... they'd be there!

After all of Girls Aloud dabbled in the world of movies with the gloriously British St. Trinians, something like Horrid Henry seems the perfect choice for Kimberley to take on, and just going by this poster, she seems to be filling the role very nicely indeed.

Linkin Park - Iridescent

Linkin Park have a long history with the Transformers films; contributing What I've Done and New Divide to the soundtracks of the previous two movies. It's a strategy that's worked well for the band with What I've Done becoming the band's highest charting UK hit when it reached Number 6 back in 2007.

Iridescent was one of the standout tracks from their most recent record A Thousand Suns and is now being released as the album's fourth single in a new remixed form in conjunction with the latest Transformers movie; Dark Of The Moon. With its epic chorus and dramatic build-up to an intense crescendo, the track is rounded off with lyrics about letting go of all the pain and hurt in life. A song that talks about the 'cataclysm raining down' is suitably fitting for the scale and action-packed nature of the Transformers movies.

This mix of the track adds a new beat, giving it a slick, glossy feel, following in the vein of Leave Out All The Rest from the band's previous album Minutes To Midnight. Essentially a lush piano ballad, Iridescent shows that Linkin Park really are just as apt at the subtle, slow stuff as the all out 'loud' tracks. The new mix elevates Iridescent out of the far more intense, almost gothic feel the original album version had with its touches of church organ in the verses. In its place is something that has been cleverly trimmed and streamlined.

The big guitar solo is still every bit as epic, as are the chanty shouts of 'LET IT GO!' in the anthemic finale. In the final chorus singer Chester Bennington's vocals reach a real grit and passion; the kind of texture he's always done so well; conveying the lyrics with utter sincerity and emotion. It's all actually rather moving - which is precisely what you want on a Hollywood film-fronting track like this.

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon (nothing to do with that legendary Pink Floyd album...) is out in the cinemas on the 1st July.

Iridescent is released on the 16th May.

A very happy engagement for Sarah Harding

I’ve always loved Girls Aloud’s Sarah Harding, so when I heard she had got engaged, I was over the moon for her. Sarah had been a bit quiet in the Girls Aloud stakes recently, what with all the Cheryl and Nadine news, so it was a great time to remind us all what an awesome person she is. I’ve always adored her feisty attitude, the way at times she could seem a law unto herself, and then on other occasions displaying a more subtle, emotive side. Sarah is the Girl that, come an interview, you can always count on to pop up with some genius comment or memorable quote. Her acting roles are dead cool too, especially the film Bad Day (which more people need to go and see, because it’s awesome).

Sarah’s a girl who’s unabashed love for the likes of Primal Scream and the Stone Roses might seem out of place in a traditional girl band, but then again, that’s what made Girls Aloud so amazing, that they were so much more than that. Sarah brought that indie cool to the band, attending NME award shows and hanging out with the Arctic Monkeys. There’s something defiantly British about her and the ever-changing length of her hair is always a source of fascination. Whenever I’ve been to see Girls Aloud live, Sarah and Cheryl were the always the ones you’d have the most eyes for. They just knew exactly how to work the crowd.

So here’s three cheers for Sarah and Tommy, the prospect of two Girls Aloud weddings in a year is very exciting (and who knows, we might even have three if Justin pops the question to Kimberley too...).

You can also catch Sarah on Living TV’s Dating In The Dark very soon!